I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
