He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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