So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
