I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
