woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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