i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
