no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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