What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
