That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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