How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
