I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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