I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I died a long time ago.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
