Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I did not marry a roomba.
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