yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
