Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
