omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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