mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
