I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
