Me too!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
