Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
