I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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