mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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