i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
