I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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