I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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