I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
handjob tips. give me some.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
