i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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