did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
