So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
