remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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