eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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