u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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