My brain says no but my pants say off.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
two words: eviction party
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
