You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My feet surprised me
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