it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
