and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
