...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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