I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
