What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
