Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
