cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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