a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They took my balls.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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