I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
