I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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