i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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