i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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