My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
