last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
