dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
