i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
