Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
