people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
